lately, my world has been so hectic and crazy. exams were coming (and are finally here!) and there were just so many things happening.. and it was that much easier not to place God at the top of my priority list.
so.. naturally, my QT started to get really irregular and even nonexistent at times – it was pretty bad. and yeah, although QT isn’t a gauge of your walk with God.. for me, it’s pretty much a good gauge; accordingly, my walk with God was a mess too.
yesterday was my first paper.. it was at 1 and i had been planning to wake up when shirley woke up for her exam at 8. OBVIOUSLY, that didn’t exactly work out. but when i finally managed to get myself out of bed and to my table.. i decided, i should do my QT. amazingly, what was meant to be a short, quick QT stretched out and before i knew it.. it was time to leave for the exam.
how did i do? well, it was pretty okay except one question >< it was based on a special lecture which i did not attend cause i was SICK. but yes, i shall not complain.. it’s my own fault. so yayness! one examination down, 3 more to go. my next one is on the coming monday.
even more amazing though, was what happened when i returned to hall. shirley and i were just pretty much in a “bahumbug” kind of mood – just so mentally exhausted from our first paper and too lethargic to do any further studying. so we went for a super early dinner at about 5 and went about school, visiting the various supermarts.
along the way, we had the wonderful idea of decorating our room to make it more homely. and we also decided we wanted a more conducive environment for us to actually live together in (those of you who have visited before would know that the old layout was just super unfriendly). the plan was to move all the stuff about AFTER our exams and to call some big, manly guys to help us. but at 8 when we returned to hall (it was raining, so we had to take shuttle bus about.. therefore we took such a long dinner break!), we decided to do it all by ourselves. so my dear roomie and i flexed our muscles and rearranged our room AND decorated it. its pretty pretty now (: and shirley and i can now have heart to heart talks without having to squeeze onto only one of our beds anymore.
the gist of it though was that this morning i saw shirley do her QT and i was wondering to myself.. “hmm, seems like so long ago that i last did my QT” when suddenly it occurred to me “hey, i did it yesterday!” and almost immediately my brain was saying “NO WONDER YOU HAD SUCH A FANTASTIC DAY YESTERDAY”. it was so natural and i just felt so satisfied – until i realised that something about that logic was not right. so what if i did my QT? was God rewarding me for being a good girl?
my fantastic day was all because of God’s grace.. it had nothing to do with my QT. despite all my flaws and failures as His child, God still loves me and chooses to continue blessing me. having a good day was just His way of showing me His love for me.. it was a stunning revelation after having been away from His arms for so long.
so the next time you have an amazing, fantastic day, remember to thank God. it’s all about Him; it’s not about us, not about the things that we’ve done. nothing we’ve done can ever merit the love that He gives us and chooses to continue giving us – even if what we do pleases Him.
